Something I need to take out of my chest

Menstrual emo-fest starts: an open letter to Plump-cheeks.

Reasons why you pissed me off:

1. You didn’t correct my personal statement. It was important for me, the most vital part of something that could positively change my life, and it was important for me to have your opinion. You didn’t even bother to read it. ‘I think it it would take me a couple of hours’ you said, and that’s BULLSHIT. It takes ME 45 seconds flat to read a text of that length, and I’m not a native speaker. You could have just read it and told me what you thought, but you didn’t even bother to spend one minute of your time. Not even one minute. I had waited for two weeks for you to correct it, and you didn’t bother to read it.

2. I‘m not stupid, so I know you are almost pathologically self-centred and that can be annoying. But you know, I’ve always thought that self-centred people have at least one good trait: they value their word (if you manage to get them to promise something). I value my word, immensely. I am consistent and honest, if I give my word, if I promise, then you can sit down and relax, I’ll keep it. You gave me your word, you fucking promised me something, and you didn’t keep it. People who don’t keep their promises disgust me to the bone.

3. You ignored me. Twice. For almost two months each time. I don’t care of your excuses, no-fucking-body is THAT busy. You just couldn’t be arsed to answer to a bloody mail. I had specifically asked you not to ignore my emails. It’s not that hard. Not rocket science either. You just answer to the bloody email. Or, you don’t specifically promise not to ignore the emails in the first place. You could have said ‘You know, it’s only that I am crap at answering emails’. One of my best friends is like this. I don’t hate him for this. He just lives in his strange little world. But if I write him an email saying I am worried about something and I need him to answer, be assured he will answer immediately, because he cares about me.

4. I may, with some effort, believe you didn’t realise my interview was approaching. I didn’t actually write to you (yeah, so I could make an ass of myself being ignored again) to say I was coming, and, fine, let’s believe you NEVER saw my Facebook or Twitter updates for about two months talking about this bloody trip. But you haven’t seen me for eight months. Eight months. I was in your city. You should have invited me somewhere. That’s fucking basic courtesy, Plump-cheeks, like, primary-school basic courtesy. Instead, you had me asking to catch up, let me hanging on half words, than that day, KNOWING I had waited until after twilight for you, you put on that show in front of everyone? About the ONLY thing I had asked you to PROMISE me was not to be like that French idiot, not treating me like shit in public. But, hey, what are my feelings worth, what is your goddamn word worth, compared to your COURSEWORK?

5. I hate slimy digs. ‘Everybody in the school is so busy, you can’t just go to people and chat.’ you say. Hum, what? I’m fairly sure I saw you doing just that. Just not with me. Every single person in the office gave me a minute or two of their time, happy to see me again (because, you know, I AM an exceptionally kind person and I was always nice and helpful to everyone), smiling and generally treating me like a human being. The HoD told me to go to his office so we could have a long chat. He told me to try and do the placement at Goldstag, to write up his email address and do not hesitate to contact him if I needed anything. The new NQT barely knows me, and yet she welcomed me warmly and spent a lot of time with me. And, you know, I also happen to be an exceptionally intelligent person, so I would realise if my presence was a disturbance and I know how to make myself invisible so as to not disturb anyone. Only you, only you put a frigging stick up your ass when you saw me. The only person who had promised not to treat me like shit was the only one who did it. Even your mentor smiled at me and chatted with me for five minutes for chrissake! He hates me. Ok, it may had had something to do with the box of chocolate I brought, but what the hell, he was nicer than you.

6. Back to the ‘exceptionally intelligent person’. You do not tell me I don’t understand. You just don’t. Ever. Especially when the thing I allegedly don’t understand is the fact that Goldstag is your working place (huh? Did I become retarded in a night? Let me check… no) and you have the coursework. You know. I have been treated like shit by many people, for several reasons. Jealousy, meanness, stupidity or just simple lack of manners. But being treated like shit because of a coursework… well, it’s always nice to be surprised. I guess. But again, last time I checked, every single person at Goldstag has coursework. Maybe even more than you. And those are, oh, yeah, the same people who were perfectly lovely with me. So here is what I don’t understand. What makes you special? What gives you the right, on the basis of the bloody coursework, to treat people like shit, when all the others, having the same coursework, don’t? And in the ‘treat me like shit’ paragraph I include also not listening to me when I told you I was going to wait for you at school and insisting on meeting up out of the school in the first place. What were you scared of? Some person might have seen us leaving the school together and get strange ideas?

Menstrual emo-fest over.